Ever Wonder... What Your Cigarette Is Thinking?

We force them to live in tiny, overcrowed spaces. We burn them for our own pleasure, and trade them like nobody's business. Lincon would be shocked! But do you ever stop to think, what is that helpless cigratte of yours thinking? If it could talk, what would it say? ... really.

Sharing a smoke: "Hey! The b****** don't brush! Put your mouth there first!"

Gotta go to the loo: "Do you take everyone you kiss here? (No wonder you're alone at 3 am. Loser.)"

She just went down on him: "I'm gonna die in a couple of minutes (mighty courteous of you). But you... hahaha... welcome to the world of herpies."

You stub it before it's finished: "Hey, I'm not done yet! No wonder she left you."

You stuff lights in a hards packet: "Gulp!"

You prefer dube: "Hey, my butt's natural!"

You stamp it when it's done: "Kiss me when you want something. Kick me when I'm down. You'd make a great politician."

You don't light it properly: "If you don't even know how to turn me on properly, you're obviously going to suck like crazy!"

You empty the ashtray: "Someday somebody will throw your damn ashes in the dustbin too. You B******!"

You've pissed it off: "I'm gona kill you if it's the last thing I do!"

You have a smoke with the boss: "Just how many butts are ya gona kiss today anyway?"

The post-sex cigarette: "Why the heck does Cigar get to have all the fun? Damn you Bill!"

Well, that's what I think anyway :) Time to light up.